Loki X Reader X Thor- Still in Love with You

She was all I ever wanted
She was all I ever needed and more
She walked out my door
Then she went away
Left my heart in two
Left me standing here
Singing all these blues

The gardens surrounding the palace were particularly beautiful this time of year. You sat silently beside Loki, content with watching clumsy purple bees bump into each other as they pollinated vibrant flowers. You inhaled the sweet intoxicating scents, closing your eyes with a smile.
“_______.”
You opened your eyes slowly, meeting Loki’s steady gaze. You knew he hated to be outside amongst the wildlife, he much preferred the cold dimly lit sanctuary of his quarters.
“I think it’s time we go back now, we have a lot to decipher.” His tone was bored.
Your shoulders slumped when you remembered the stack of ancient spell tomes he needed help decoding. Just because you were one of Asgard’s best scholars didn’t mean that you wanted to spend every waking moment with your nose in a dusty book.
“Ok, fine.” You didn’t bother with fake enthusiasm.

The moment you entered his quarters he shoved a dusty volume into your hands. He didn’t even thank you for agreeing to help him, he just took a book for himself and began reading. You looked from the book in your hand to him. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he began to swiftly jot down his translations. You shook your head. He treated you more like an employee then a girlfriend. Before you could stop yourself your temper surged and you aimed the book you were holding at the prince’s head. Luckily for him you were more academic then physical so it narrowly missed him, striking the wall with a loud thunk.
“_______?” He stood, brow raised in question.
You glared at him resentfully, teeth gritted. You opened your mouth to say something but changed your mind. With a disbelieving shake of your head you spun on your heel and trudged out of the room, slamming the door shut behind you.
You heard him call after you, his voice a little panicked, but at that moment you couldn’t care less.

You left without a single word
Not even sorry
It might of hurt worse to hear you say
I’m leaving goodbye
But your smile still makes my heart sing
Another sad song
Can’t forget it, won’t regret it
Cause I’m still in love with you

A week went by and Loki’s hopes that you were going to return to him began to diminish. He knew he had been working you hard, and that he rarely told you he loved you, but he did. He buried his head into his hands, rubbing his stinging eyes. The thought that he may have lost you crushed him inside, but he didn’t know how to win you back. He shook, choking out a sob as the tears he had held back for so long were finally released. His tears stained the pages of the latest tome he had been slaving over. With a sudden flood of anger he realized it was this very tome that had caused you to leave. He screamed out, violently seizing the book from his desk and throwing it into the crackling fire. He spent the next two hours destroying everything in his sight. Not even the palace guards dared try and calm him.

You sat in your own chambers, curled up on your bed. The longer you spent away from Loki the more you realized how diseased your relationship was. He was so controlling, had a terrible temper, and sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was the monster everyone portrayed him to be. You sat up blinking rapidly, noticing that you hadn’t shed a single tear all day. Taking a deep breath you also noticed that the hollowness in your chest that had been present the previous day was but a minor nuisance. You stared out at the cloudless sky, hands folded in your lap. It was time to admit you couldn’t go back to him.

We had fun under the sun
And when winter came she’d be my angel
We were so in love
Yeah, she went away
Left my heart in two
Left me standing here
Singing all these blues

The purple bees continued buzzing as they had always done. Loki sighed deeply, as he watched them silently. You used to love coming out here and no matter the weather or the season you always found something you considered beautiful. He could never see it, for instance these bees had always slightly disgusted him. With their obese furry bodies and too small wings, but you had marveled at the way they carelessly buzzed from flower to flower. The only beauty he’d ever enjoyed had been your smile, your laugh and the way you ran your hand through your (h/c) hair. He remembered back to last winter, when you had danced in the snow, giggling like a child. The tiny ivory flakes of snow had collected in your hair making you look like something from a fairytale. A tear ran down his cheek, he had been crying nonstop for the past two days. He tried to stop thinking about you, to try and quell the shed tears but everything he saw was just a reminder of what he’d lost.

The warmth of the sun was ecstasy. You couldn’t help but smile as you frolicked in the gardens, picking huge red roses and chasing stunning butterflies. A laugh escaped your mouth as one of the largest butterflies you had ever seen landed on your shoulder. You watched its electric blue wings quiver with an awestruck smile. Before long the insect decided to take its leave, fluttering high into the powder blue sky. A deep chuckle behind you caused you to jump. You turned around to see Thor, his golden hair radiant in the sunlight.
“Mind if I join you Lady _____?”
You smiled with a shrug. “It’s your garden.”
He grinned, offering you his arm. “I do love to go for a walk on fine days such as this.”
You linked your arm with his. “As do I.”  



You left without a single word
Not even sorry
It might of hurt worse to hear you say
I’m leaving goodbye
But your smile still makes my heart sing
Another sad song
Can’t forget it, won’t regret it
Cause I’m still in love with you

“No! How can this be?” Loki shoved his fist through a floor length mirror.
He clutched his bleeding hand, amazed that the pain in his chest was far worse. He had seen you in the gardens with Thor. Thor, he gritted his teeth at the thought of the name, he always took what Loki wanted, what Loki loved. He screamed, falling to his knees. He could bear to be without you, but he couldn’t bear to see you with the person he hated the most. Curling up into the fetal position he whimpered. He couldn’t get your bright smile from his head, the way Thor had handed you a crimson tulip. Neither of you had seen him sitting there silently until it was too late. You had flashed him a sheepish smile, waving slightly before rushing back to the palace. The way Thor had watched you leave was sickening, he had that look. The look Loki had seen Thor have many times before. The look that meant he was interested in being far more then friends. Loki cried out again, clutching his sides tightly. It felt as if he was falling apart.

I don’t know what hurts worse baby
Seeing you with him or being alone
On my own
I know he doesn’t love you baby
Not like I did oh what’s the point
You’re not listening anyway

Six months later

Thor sighed joyfully, his fingers brushing across your collarbone. Running your fingers through his golden hair you smiled, gazing into his blue eyes. It was routine for the both of you to go to the gardens on sunny mornings, you would lie on the soft lawn and bask in the suns warm glow. You had only been dating Thor for three months, but so far he was the perfect boyfriend. He listened to your worries, gave you flowers and treated you like you were the most important person in his world. His lips softly brushed your jaw line triggering a sigh. He grinned victoriously, moving down to nip at the tender flesh of your neck.
Quivering you pushed his head away, playful smirk on your face. “That’s not a very princely move.” You were surprised to find you were breathless.
His grin widened further. “I am more then just a prince; I am in the same instance a man. And a man would by no means be capable of restraining himself around a woman such as yourself.”
You blushed red. Loki was renowned for his silver tongue, but Thor very much had the same gift.

You watched as Thor reluctantly left you, he had duties to attend to. The day was too beautiful to not stay outside, so you found a quiet spot in the shade of a large blossoming tree. Carefully opening the pages of an ancient book of poetry you reclined against the massive grey trunk absorbing yourself in the assonances.
“_________, I wish to speak with you.” A voice startled you, and you dully grasped you had fallen asleep.
You squinted up at the dark figure standing over you, cursing the suns bright rays. Unfortunately the figure took your silence as an invitation and took a seat beside you. Loki looked absolutely terrible. His skin was waxen and his once bright beautiful eyes were sunken and dull. You frowned as you felt your heart accelerate at his nearness. That was odd.
“I saw you with Thor earlier.” He spoke almost casually, but you could hear the pain hidden in his words.
“Oh?” You pretended to be interested in a small mark on the cover of the book in your lap.
“It appears you’re getting serious,” He let the statement hang in the air for a moment before continuing. “And I’m a little concerned for you.”
Your eyes darted up to meet his. “What?”
“________, he doesn’t love you as much as you deserve. He could never love you that much-“
“But you could?” Your cheeks flushed, you would’ve liked to think it was rage but you weren’t so sure.
“I do.” He moved to stroke your cheek but you pulled away.
“You had your chance Loki. I’m happy with Thor, he’s carefree and so full of joy.”
“But-“
“No, Loki, I don’t care what you have to say anymore. Move on.” You stood, taking note of the strange grief you felt. What was with you?
He clenched his jaw, nodding silently. His raven coloured hair fell into his face as his head slumped. It was like looking at a wounded animal, you couldn’t bear it any longer. Choking back your own sobs you hurried back to your room.

You left without a single word
Not even sorry
It might of hurt worse to hear you say
I’m leaving goodbye
But your smile still makes my heart sing
Another sad song
Can’t forget it, won’t regret it
Cause I’m still in love with you

15 months later

Just after thirteen months of dating, Thor asked you to marry him. It came as a complete shock, you hadn’t been expecting a proposal at all. But now here you were five months later, staring at your reflection in a large mirror as two young girls busied themselves with your hair and makeup. You were actually going to be married. You tried on a smile, but it didn’t seem to fit the emotions coursing through your body. You weren’t nervous, happy or excited. If anything you were heart broken. But how could that be? Thor was perfect, everything you had ever wanted in a husband. A frown creased your brow.
The girl trying to do your makeup clicked her tongue. “With all respect Lady _______, I can’t help but notice that you look miserable.”
You looked at her reflection in the mirror. “J-just nervous.” You lied.
She nodded with a smile. “I understand, and to think, in a little over an hour you will be the future queen of Asgard.”
Your stomach churned at the thought. Were you really queen material?

Loki took a seat at the very front of the numerous rows of ivory chairs. He was obliged to attend his brothers wedding, no matter the fact that he detested his brother, and was enamored with his brothers soon to be wife. He sighed, his shoulders slumping. Another thing he had unwillingly been forced to do was bring a date. The woman that sat beside him was a busty blonde and very dim-witted. She sat beside him, her hand clawing at his arm and her mouth flapping a million miles a minute as she gave her unwanted opinions on just about everything in the universe. Loki pinched the bridge of his nose, tears burning behind his eyes. He had to hold it together, for at least the remainder of the ceremony.

You left without a single word
Not even sorry
It might of hurt worse to hear you say
I’m leaving goodbye
But your smile still makes my heart sing
Another sad song
Can’t forget it, won’t regret it
Cause I’m still in love with you

Every single seat was occupied. Your heart beat at an alarming rate. Would you really be able to go through with this? The more you thought about it the sicker you felt inside. It was time to admit you weren’t over Loki. His face kept flashing into your mind. You loved him, but you also loved Thor. Taking a deep breath you stood, you would go through with the wedding because it was obvious Thor was far better for you then Loki was.

The aisle was way too long. It felt as if the more you walked the further away you got to the end. You could hear the muffled whispers of the guests as they commented on your dress. It was apparently too simple for someone who was soon to be queen, according to one lady anyway. You held your head up high, forcing a smile onto your face. Thor stood just a few meters away now, dressed in the shiniest armor you’d ever seen. He grinned at you, his eyes crinkling up. He looked so happy and so proud. It made your heart sink further. He loved you so entirely. Then you saw Loki. You very nearly stopped in your tracks when you noticed him. Urging yourself on, you continued forward the remaining few steps, barely registering when your hand joined with Thor’s.

Loki felt a tear run down his cheek as he watched you say your vows. You looked so radiant in your gown of white silk. The woman beside him criticized you, but he wasn’t listening. Up until now he had hoped to hear the ‘dreadful’ news that the wedding had been called off. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that it was over now.

“You may now kiss the bride.”
Thor lifted your veil, blue eyes full of tenderness. You didn’t need to force a smile this time. He leant in, tilting your head up. The kiss was kept short and sweet, Odin himself had warned Thor against being too passionate. The crowd cheered, causing you to blush. As you turned to face them one face stood out above the rest. Loki sat as stiff and still as a marble statue, his eyes boring into yours. His jaw was clenched and his hands grasped tightly at the side of his chair. You felt yourself begin to tremble as tears welled up in your eyes. Thor noticed your change and wrapped his arm around your waist. He must have thought you were as happy as he was. But you weren’t, not really.

After the wedding Loki returned straight to his room. He couldn’t face the joyful music and chatter of the reception. He threw himself onto his bed silently. He was done with crying, finished with shouting, through with caring. He had lost the only thing he had ever cared about so completely. He had lost you. He closed his eyes, hoping that he would never have to awaken again.